


Brothers

by Narassi



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Canon-typical language, Fluff, Gen, It shouldn't be that bad, Light Angst, Minor Violence, What else is new, York is an idiot, carwash siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-14 22:51:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9208634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narassi/pseuds/Narassi
Summary: Wash and York play a prank on their team. The prank goes on a little too long to back out of safely, and of course backfires spectacularly.





	1. Hello, Brother

**Author's Note:**

> You have no idea how long I've been planning to write this. It's been *months*!
> 
> Chapter 2 should be uploaded soon. I already have it written, I just want to check over it and tweak it a few times before posting. 
> 
> Enjoy!!

Wash groaned in annoyance and swatted York’s hand away. York sat next to him on the couch in the rec room—actually, York sat on the _arm_ of the couch next to Wash. The older Freelancer was intent on pestering Wash for whatever reason, and Wash really just wanted to watch the goddamn movie that Connie was playing.

York’s hand returned to its former position on Wash’s head, pulling at individual hairs and tickling his scalp. When he turned to his right, York offered his usual shit-eating grin and pulled harder.

“Oh my god York, _stop_!” Wash tried to shove York off the arm of the couch, but York just wrapped his arms around Wash’s shoulders and held on tight, laughing loudly.

Connie paused the movie. “Shut up or leave, idiots,” she snapped.

Wash untangled himself from York’s arms. “Sorry,” he muttered. Connie pressed play again.

York managed to refrain from pestering Wash for the rest of the movie, though the older man leaned heavily on Wash. Wash frowned a little. York could get pretty touchy-feely with people when he was feeling down. Wash knew that York was upset about not being allowed to go with Carolina on her latest mission; he’d been pretty upset about it, too. Earlier, Carolina had been sent off on a mission by herself. Solo missions were rare, but they still happened, especially for top agents like Carolina. Usually York turned his cuddly tendencies on Carolina, but when she wasn’t there he’d turn to North, who was more likely to indulge him. Wash glanced sideways at the older Freelancer. North sat with South at the table behind the couch. York really wouldn’t have to move far to get to the purple-clad Freelancer. Was it a good thing or a bad thing that York was being cuddly with him instead?

As soon as the first credits hit the screen, York’s icy cold hands were shoved into Wash’s shirt, one down the neck and the other on his stomach. Wash squawked loudly and flung himself up and off the couch, landing in a heap on the floor.

“You _fuck_!” Wash shrieked. York fell over into the seat Wash had just vacated, clutching his stomach and doubling over with the force of his laughter. Wash stood up and clenched his fists angrily. Connie moved off of the couch and into an armchair, no doubt to get out of the way and still have a good view of the imminent tussle.

York looked up as Wash walked over and loomed above him. He wiped his eyes clear and grinned up at Wash. “That was fucking funny!” York said, and promptly broke down into snickers once more.

Wash crossed his arms angrily. “You’re an asshole,” he declared.

York pretended to look offended. “Who, me?”

Wash scowled and tried to drag York off of the couch, but the other Freelancer wouldn’t budge. Wash grabbed his shirt, his arm, his legs, his waist, _anything_ he could, but York would not let go of the couch. York practically giggled the whole time. Finally, Wash gave up and leaned back, hands on his hips.

York stretched languidly. “A little tired there, Wash?” He smirked.

Wash smirked right back. “As a matter of fact, I am. I’d like to sit down, now.” Wash’s smirk grew into a full-fledged grin. He just barely registered South’s whoop of laughter before he flopped down hard on York’s stomach, driving the air from the other agent’s lungs. Wash happily sprawled across the man. York’s legs were still over the arm of the couch, so Wash leaned against them and bent his knees so his feet rested on York’s face. York squawked and writhed a bit at that, so Wash moved his feet down to York’s shoulders. He grinned smugly as the older man attempted to squirm his way out from underneath him.

“This is pretty comfortable, thanks York!” He grinned wolfishly at York, who stopped struggling and flopped back down on the couch.

“You asshole!” York panted.

Wash winked at Connie, who had fished her datapad out to take a picture. “Who, me?” He mimicked York’s earlier statement. York just groaned in response. Wash finally looked up at South, who had moved to peer over the back of the couch at them, and North, who still sat at the table and now faced Wash to grin widely at him.

York took that moment to launch upwards.

Wash was taken by surprise and flinched at the sudden movement. York curled over as much as he could and wrapped Wash in his arms and then hurled them both to the ground. Wash squeaked loudly at the impact, causing a laugh to bubble up and out of York’s throat. The older agent rolled them to where he sat on top of Wash, and pinned the younger man’s arms above his head.

“Got you!” York announced cheerily. Wash growled and tried to free his hands, but the older man’s strength overwhelmed him. Instead, Wash squirmed as much as he could to try to dislodge York, who laughed so hard he lost his balance and flopped back against the couch. Once Wash was certain York wasn’t getting up to restrain him again, he joined in on the laughter. Eventually, York jumped back up onto the couch and held his arms open in invitation. Wash rolled his eyes and flung himself at York, curling up half in the older agent’s lap.

York grinned down at him. “Thanks for indulging me,” he muttered quietly, “I’ll even be nice and not tickle you.”

Wash snorted. “Welcome,” he whispered back.

York gathered Wash up in his arms and pressed his face into Wash’s neck. Wash did his best to restrain a second eye roll. York was _really_ cuddly when he was upset.

Connie snickered from the armchair. “You guys act like brothers. Fighting one minute and cuddling the next.”

South barked out a laugh. “Who the fuck thinks siblings cuddle?”

“You ten years ago?” North suggested.

York shifted a little. “You wanna role with this one?” He whispered in Wash’s ear.

South yelled something behind them. Wash shrugged. “Sure. What do I do?”

York snickered. “You’re my little brother,” he said.

Wash blinked. “Um, what?” He asked, unsure if he’d heard York right over South’s continuous yelling.

York nudged him. “Just play along.” Wash nodded.

Connie laughed. “I still think they act like brothers.”

York pulled back from Wash’s neck. “Is it really that obvious?” He asked.

South quieted. The whole _room_ quieted. “Wait, what?” Connie asked.

Wash rubbed the back of his head in fake nervousness.

“You guys, uh, weren’t supposed to know.” York said.

Wash shoved a little at his chest. “And they _wouldn’t_ know, if you hadn’t just blabbered it,” he grumbled. He crossed his arms and pouted. York just shrugged sheepishly.

North’s chair scraped on the floor as he stood to look at them over the back of the couch. “Wait,” North said, “hold on. What exactly are you talking about? I just want to clarify.”

Wash scowled. “Nothing,” he said, “just ignore York, please.”

York ignored him and looked up at North. “Wash is my brother?”

There was silence. North, South, and Connie all looked at York like he’d grown a second head. Wash grew uncomfortable under their stares and began to fidget, trying to ignore the heat rising to his cheeks.

“Say that again?” South’s voice was unnaturally quiet. She looked like she couldn’t quite wrap her head around the concept. Wash honestly couldn’t blame her.

“Wash is my little brother.” York said, stronger this time. “We didn’t want anyone to know in case it caused problems.” All three other agents blinked owlishly at the pair for several long moments.

“Holy fuck,” South said, eyes wide.

North looked stunned. “Wow. It’s obvious looking back, how did we not notice earlier?”

Connie crossed her arms. “You two don’t look anything alike.”

York grinned and ruffled Wash’s hair, making him squawk in protest. “He looks just like his mom,” he said, voice fond, “I guess I got my dad’s looks. Thank God for that.”

“Hey!” Wash protested, and the other agents laughed.

“Wow,” North repeated, “I really—just. Damn. You’re brothers.”

Wash sighed heavily. “Secret’s out.”

Connie cocked her head. “You guys did a really good job of acting indifferent for a long time. Sorry I called you out.”

Wash shrugged. “York could have played it off. And you guys say _I’m_ the one with horrible social skills.”

“You are,” York deadpanned. Wash stuck his tongue out at him. The older agent paused, his eyes lighting up momentarily. “Does this mean I get to cuddle with you more often?”

Wash groaned and flopped his head backwards onto the arm of the couch. “Ugh, seriously?”

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Wash was woken up by something heavy falling on him. He squeaked and tried to squirm away, but stopped when the heavy weight chuckled and rolled off of him.

Wait.

It _laughed_?

Wash cracked his eyes open to see York grinning sleepily at him. The events from last night jumped into Wash’s mind, and he blinked.

“What do you want?” He asked. Or tried to ask through a yawn, so it really sounded like “Wha-u-wan?”

York shrugged. “What do you think about keeping up with the joke?”

Wash blinked again. “You want to keep going,” he deadpanned.

York nodded eagerly. “We can try to get _everyone_ on the Alpha team to believe us. Then we’ll reveal when we’ve got everyone.”

Wash’s brain stuttered to a stop. Oh, no. That was _not_ going to go well. Carolina was the only issue. Wash had no doubt that he and York could convince _every single person_ on Alpha team—except Carolina.

See, Carolina is Wash’s sister. His actual, honest-to-God sister. She’s his elder by about four and a half years. She’d take one good look at York after he told her and she’d _laugh_ , long and hard. The whole joke would be turned on their heads in an instant.

York flicked Wash’s forehead. “Hello? Earth to Wash!”

Wash flinched a second too late. “That’s...not going to work,” he said carefully.

York’s eyebrows pulled together. “Why not?”

Wash shook his head. “There’s just no way we’ll get everyone on board. Someone’s bound to call us out sooner or later. The more people we tell, the more people can figure it out.”

“They won’t figure it out!” York protested.

Wash frowned. “Connie called us out last night for not looking anything alike, and for being indifferent to each other when I first joined the program,” he pointed out.

York sighed. “Can we at least try? If this ship starts to sink, we’ll bail. I’ll pull the usual, ‘wow, you guys really fell for it that long’. Sound okay?”

Wash tried his best not to wince. “There’s really no stopping you, is there?”

York grinned. “Nope.”

“Then I guess let’s get everyone else.” Wash shrugged. How hard could it be?

 

* * *

 

Turns out, convincing everyone else was not very hard at all.  

Wash tried very hard not to laugh. He mostly kept a straight face, with the exception of his eyes. York, on the other hand, managed a perfect straight face and deadpan. It was beautiful, really.

Maine sat in front of them at the mess hall, a spoon full of oatmeal frozen inches from his mouth, which failed to close when his hand stopped moving.

York and Wash sat directly across from the giant, with Connie on Wash’s other side. North and South sat next to Maine.

Connie broke first, giggling loudly. “I accidentally called them out on it last night!” She said, clutching her stomach. Maine’s gaze snapped to her. “I didn’t mean to!”

Maine looked back at Wash, who managed to smile and not grin. “Might want to close your mouth, big guy,” he said, “or you’ll catch flies.”

Maine’s mouth snapped shut, and the giant dropped his spoon back in his bowl. He pointed between York and Wash, raising an eyebrow.

Wash nodded the affirmative. “Yeah. We decided not to tell anyone just in case it caused problems.”

Maine’s brow furrowed. The bigger man pursed his lips, a clear message of _I won’t tell anyone_.

Wash smiled. “Thanks, big guy. I guess we’ll try to keep it within Alpha team? The news will probably make its way around there anyways.”

South stood suddenly, slapping her palms against the table. “Does this mean I can tell Wyoming and Florida?” She asked gleefully.

Wash looked at York, who shrugged. “I mean, I guess so. They’re not going to believe you.”

South grinned. “Fuck yeah, they will!” With that, she climbed off of the bench and headed for the doors of the cafeteria. “I’ll show you!” She called back. North sighed and collected her tray as well as his own, and stood up and left the table. Connie elbowed Wash and reminded him they had a training at 1900, and Maine left without a word as usual.

York chuckled when they were finally alone. “They’re actually more likely to believe South than me,” he grinned.

Wash laughed. “I know, that was brilliant.” He poked at the last few bites of egg on his plate. “Now we just have to wait for Carolina to get back.”

York winked at him. “I’ll handle her.” Wash sighed and followed the other agent out of the cafeteria. This was _not_ going to end well.

             

* * *

 

Wash never got to see Wyoming or Florida’s reactions. Neither agent acted any differently around Wash or York. Everything went fine for a few days.

York got his fill of cuddles without anyone batting an eye. Wash got to spend more time with one of his favorite people. Honestly, Wash would miss the older Freelancer’s company when the team finally found out.

Well, as soon as Carolina got home from her mission.

The night before Carolina was scheduled to return, York slipped in to Wash’s room again, this time just as Wash climbed into bed. Again, York made himself comfortable on the other side of Wash’s bed, this time fixing him with a pondering look.

“What?” Wash asked as he pulled the blankets nearly up to his ears.

York shrugged. “I’m really enjoying this,” he said softly.

Wash raised a brow. “What, tricking everyone into thinking we’re brothers?”

York snorted. “Well, yeah. But,” the older agent hesitated, “I’m also enjoying acting like your big brother.” He admitted.

Wash blinked, stunned. “How so?”

“I just—” The older agent grasped for words. “I wanted a little brother really badly when I was a kid.” He shrugged and laughed. “I guess my little kid brain couldn’t understand the fact that my single mom couldn’t just produce another kid.” He smiled ruefully. “So I’m really enjoying having a little brother, even if it’s just pretend.”

Wash regarded the other agent carefully. “I have an older sister,” he said, “but we were never really close. I went through a phase where I really wanted a brother to play with.”

York looked oddly hopeful. “Never got one?” He asked.

Wash gave him a lopsided smile. “Nah. My dad couldn’t make one out of thin air after my mom died, y’know?” Wash decided to ignore the irony in that his father _had_ recruited both of them to the same program and put them on the same team.

York barked out a startled laugh. “Well. Guess we were pretty lucky to meet up then, huh?” The older agent opened his arms in invitation, which Wash happily accepted. He practically dove into York’s very warm arms. “Fuck it. You’re my brother now, got it?” He poked Wash lightly in the side. “Even if the others figure out that we’re not, I’m still going to treat you like you are.”

Wash grinned into York’s shoulder. “Got it,” he said. “Just don’t ignore me like my sister did.”

York squeezed him lightly. “Never,” he promised, “I’ll be nice!”

Wash nodded. “You’d better be,” he teased. York just squeezed him lightly again before shifting to a more comfortable position.

York was a restless sleeper, Wash discovered. While Wash was perfectly content to stay in one position all night long, York rolled over or shifted periodically. Wash let the other agent manhandle him into whatever position he wanted, and thankfully drifted back to sleep after each interruption.


	2. Hello, Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wash agonizes over Carolina's return. Will she find out? What will her reaction be? What will she do to them?
> 
> Maybe, though, Carolina's reaction isn't the one Wash should be worrying about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have no idea just how much fun this was to write.
> 
> Enjoy!!

Wash’s alarm went off at 0630, prompting him to fling his arm out towards his nightstand to shut it off. His brows furrowed when he hit something warm and soft long before his hand reached its intended target. Cracking his eyes open revealed York, who rubbed his cheek where Wash had whacked it.

“Sorry,” Wash slurred.

“Shut off the goddamn alarm,” York groaned.

Wash quickly sat up and reached around York to shut it off. He looked back down at York, who grinned.

“Carolina comes home today!” York cheered sleepily.

Wash huffed. “She might,” he reminded the other agent, “She could be another day or two.”

York pouted. “Don’t rain on my parade,” he grumbled.

“Hey, York?”

“Hm?”

“Can we...not tell Carolina?”

York’s brows furrowed. “Why not?”

Wash leaned against the wall and faced York. “Just. I think she’s gonna shoot it down really fast,” he admitted, “she has access to some parts of our files. She _has_ to know already, and if she doesn’t, she’ll check.”

York pondered that quietly for a few minutes. “Everyone’s going to want to tell her,” he pointed out.

Wash shrugged. “Tell them we don’t want it to interfere with our assignments, and that we don’t want her to tell the Director or the Counselor.”

York nodded. “Good idea.”

“Will you tell them that?” Wash asked.

York huffed. “Sure. I’m pretty sure even South’ll keep quiet, as long as North’s there when I tell her.”

Wash stretched and yawned. “I guess we should get up if we want to be ready to do pugil sticks with Connie and South in an hour.”

York groaned loudly and threw an arm over his eyes.

 

* * *

 

True to his word, York kept everyone on Alpha team from telling Carolina. Maine, North, and Connie weren’t issues. They’d accepted it as well as agreed that keeping it from her was safer for them. Wyoming and Florida declared that they didn’t care to begin with. South was the problem.

Wash barely trusted her to keep quiet. He almost considered telling Carolina about the prank when she got back, and asking her to just brush people off if they said anything. Unfortunately, he really didn’t have the guts to approach her about it.

Carolina got back only an hour later than her scheduled arrival time, and York bounded off to spend time with her as soon as he got the message stating that she was back. Wash decided he’d let them catch up. He tried not to feel hurt by the other Freelancer’s preference of Carolina over him. Honestly, he figured York would forget about him once he had Carolina back.

Oh, was he wrong.

York continued to sit next to him in the cafeteria, even snatching cinnamon buns or pudding for Wash whenever the cooks made them. He sat with Wash in the rec room whenever Carolina was absent, and even sometimes when Carolina was there. York sometimes joined Wash in his bunk in between trainings, just for the sake of spending time with him. They’d cuddle more often than they ever did before, as long as Carolina wasn’t around. They got to be really close friends, Wash noticed. He enjoyed it.

South didn’t even tell on them. No one did. Wash was amazed that their plan went off without a hitch. Two weeks after Carolina got back from her solo mission and everyone on Alpha team but her thought that York and Wash were brothers. Carolina gave them the occasional odd glance if they were over-friendly with each other, but she looked more amused than suspicious, and she never said anything. It was all going so perfectly, Wash realized.

It was too perfect. The first big mission after Carolina’s return changed that.

It would have been fine, really, if Wash hadn’t gotten shot.

Wash lay face up in the dirt, struggling to remember to breathe. His HUD flashed bright warnings, probably telling him that he was dying, but he ignored them in favor of looking at the sky. This planet’s sky was unusually dark. Wash could see stars and moons in the distance, even through the light provided by the small, faraway sun. His ears weren’t working properly, Wash realized belatedly. He could hear noise, but it was muffled and distorted as if it came through many layers of blankets. His right shoulder and right thigh burned in agony. He tried to move away from the white-hot pain, but couldn’t force his limbs to cooperate. His vision threatened to grey out. The large moon he’d been looking at had nearly disappeared when something else covered it. Wash was shaken by something, he couldn’t tell what, and he couldn’t focus his eyes on the thing in front of him.

Wash was shaken again, more forcefully this time, and he whimpered in pain. Fortunately, the pain seemed to clear his head enough that he could focus his eyes a little better. A gold helmet was in front of him. Gold. York? York was talking to him, Wash could see his head moving. His ears still didn’t work for some reason, though, because Wash couldn’t hear anything he said. York lifted Wash’s head gently and felt along the back of his helmet. Wash relaxed. York was here. He was safe.

Wash startled when a cacophony of noise assaulted his ears. York was pulling Wash’s helmet off, why was he taking his helmet off when it made everything so much _louder_?

Oh.

There was a lot of blood on the right side of Wash’s helmet. A bullet had sliced through the protective padding and must have grazed the side of his head. York placed the helmet gingerly on Wash’s stomach.

York was talking again, Wash noticed belatedly. “—hear me?”

Wash opened his mouth to speak but couldn’t get anything out, so he nodded sluggishly instead.

“Can you walk?” Wash shook his head, regretting it instantly when the world began to spin.

York lifted him quickly, making Wash’s head spin even worse. He must have blacked out for a while because the next thing he saw was the dull grey roof of a Pelican. He stared dazedly up at the ceiling until York entered his field of view once more.

“Y—y—ork?” Wash managed after several tries.

York wrenched his own helmet off. “Right here, buddy. You’re gonna be fine, we’re already taking off.”

True to York’s words, the Pelican lurched as it ascended. Wash mentally thanked North for convincing him not to eat more than a ration bar that morning, worried even that might come up. York seemed to notice his distress.

“Hey, it’s okay. Carolina’s bringing biofoam.” York pressed down on his shoulder, _hard_. Someone else must have been putting pressure on his leg, because that hurt, too.

Carolina’s aqua helmet entered Wash’s field of view. “York, move.”

York grunted. “I’ll help.”

“No, you won’t. Go sit down.” York’s grip on his should loosened for a moment as Carolina tried to shoo him away.

“I’m not leaving his side,” York growled.

Carolina growled right back. “York, you’ve already disobeyed direct orders once today. Go. Sit. Down.”

“No,” York said quietly.

Wash blinked dazedly at him. Oh, no. That was not good.

Carolina paused in her efforts to move him. “What did you just say?” Carolina’s helmet had disappeared sometime in the last few seconds, Wash realized.

York jutted his chin upwards in defiance. “I said, no. I’m not moving.”

“And why not?” Wash couldn’t see Carolina’s face, but he flinched anyways at the icy cold tone.

York scowled back at her. “Because he’s my little brother.”

Wash tensed. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no! This was bad, really bad.

Carolina paused. Wash was thankful for the roar of the engines; the ship would have been deadly silent without them.

“Move your fucking hands so I can apply the biofoam,” Carolina managed at last. York moved his hands and then, _OW_ , that really hurt.

 

* * *

 

When Wash came to, he was in the infirmary. He groaned at the ache in his shoulder, thigh, and the side of his head. There seemed to be a good deal of noise wherever he was, but he couldn’t quite pick out what the noise came from.

“He’s awake!” Someone whispered urgently.

His good shoulder was shaken gently. He cracked his eyes open to see North, who hovered above his left side. South peered around her twin’s shoulder. Connie sat on the bed near Wash’s head on his right side. He tried to speak but was quickly shushed by North.

North glanced worriedly over his shoulder. The taller agent leaned over to whisper in Wash’s ear, “York and Carolina are arguing.”

Wash blinked. Oh. Right. York told Carolina they were brothers. Shit. He leaned to his left, trying to peer around North, who thankfully moved out of the way.

Carolina had her back to Wash, but blocked most of York from view as well. The two were well into a heated argument.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Carolina yelled.

York crossed his arms. “It means I care about him very much!”

“I care about him, too! That doesn’t mean I disobey _direct orders_ for him!”

York groaned in frustration. “The Director told Wash to jump out of cover and he got shot. _Then_ , the Director tells us to leave him because no one can reach him. I could see him! It was so easy to shoot the three assholes that shot him and duck behind cover with him. I got him out without any sweat off of your back.”

Carolina clenched her fists at her sides. “The Director stepped in to keep our team _safe_ —”

“Really?” York snarled, “Because it looked to me like the Director stepped in to get Wash _killed_.” Carolina was stunned into silence. “I don’t care about your goddamn orders, when I see someone I care about—brother or not—get hurt? I’m going to do _everything_ I can to help them.”

Carolina unclenched her fists momentarily before clenching them again. “He’s not your fucking brother!”

“How the hell do you know?” York yelled back.

“I have access to your files, moron!” She said.

York shook his head. “But we—”

“ _Enough!_ ”

Everyone whipped around to look at the doorway of the infirmary. The Director stood in the doorway, hands clasped behind his back. Everyone but Wash (and Maine, who Wash just noticed was sitting in the hospital bed next to him) stood at attention.

“What in the _hell_ is going on in here?” The Director demanded. Wash noticed that the Counselor was absent.

“I was just—”

"Sorry sir—”

Carolina and York both spoke at once, and the Director immediately held up a hand.

“No. Never mind. You can both think about what you’re going to say tomorrow morning, when _all_ of you are going to meet with me.” The Director glanced at Wash, who tensed. “That means you, too, Agent Washington. The medics will clear you.”

Wash nodded. “Yes, sir,” he croaked.

The Director glanced around the room. “Everyone, out. Leave Agents Maine and Washington to recover.”

A chorus of meek “Yes, sir”s followed, and everyone left the infirmary without another word. York glanced worriedly over at Wash, who made a shooing motion with his good arm. When Maine and Wash were alone, Wash groaned loudly.

Maine looked over sympathetically, but unsurprisingly said nothing. Wash tried his best to get comfortable in the cold bed. Tomorrow was going to suck. 

 

* * *

 

Wash really wished the floor would just open up and swallow him already. His cheeks burned in shame and tears pricked at the corner of his eyes as the Director berated him.

“You put yourself and your team in danger, Agent,” The Director drawled, “When I tell you to move up, it means _move up_ , not _jump up and get shot_.”

Wash clenched his fists tightly. “Yes, sir.” He said meekly. His view of the grey floor of the Director’s office began to blur with tears. Yesterday the Director had told him to move up, had threatened him with a lower score on the leaderboard for not doing so already. Even when Wash had reported that three enemies would be able to see him the second he moved, the Director had simply repeated himself. So, Wash had moved up. And had gotten shot _immediately_.

“I expect you to listen to your orders more closely in the future, Agent.” The Director continued.

Wash nodded. “Yes, sir.” He repeated.

“And you, York.” The Director paused before continuing. “You disobeyed direct orders from both myself and Agent Carolina.”

“Yes, sir.” York said. Wash risked a quick look up at York, who stood perfectly still, looking somewhere past the Director’s head.

The Director picked up a datapad and looked down type something. “I would like to know why.”

York cleared his throat. “To save Wash, sir.” The Director paused and looked back up to raise an eyebrow, so York continued. “Both your orders and Carolina’s were to stay out of sight and go back to the Pelican, but I could _see_ Wash from where I was. I shot all three of the men who shot him and grabbed Wash without getting anyone else on the team hurt.”

The Director put his datapad down as both York and Washington’s names fell on the leaderboard. Wash actually disappeared entirely, Maine taking his spot. York’s fell below both North and South.

“And why did you go after Agent Washington?” The Director asked.

“Because I care about him, sir.”

The Director frowned disapprovingly. “Agent Washington is your fellow Agent, and on the field you are expected to treat him as such.” York shook his head and the Director folded his hands behind his back. “You disagree?” He challenged.

York glanced at Wash before replying. “He’s my brother.”

Wash’s eyes slammed shut, and he resisted the urge to facepalm. _Oh, shit, this is bad._

“Excuse me?” The Director sounded stunned and confused.

York took a deep breath. “Wash is my brother.”

Wash opened his eyes to see the Director look directly at him in disbelief, before turning his gaze back to York and blurting, “I think I would have remembered that.”

Time stopped. Wash swore his heart skipped a few beats as he held his breath. All of the agents stared in disbelief. Nobody moved.

Carolina burst out laughing and time resumed. Everyone’s heads snapped to look at her as she bent over to hold her stomach and _laugh_. Wash snickered and everyone turned to look at _him_ , and he clamped a hand over his mouth and laughed silently, shoulders shaking. Then Carolina began wheezing with the force of her laughter, and everyone looked back at her.

Wash met the Director’s eyes and shrugged in response to his raised brow.

“You are all dismissed,” The Director said, “Agents Washington and Carolina, I would like to speak with you privately.”

York’s shoulders slumped as he followed the rest out of the room, sparing a final, concerned glance towards Wash before the door closed behind him.

With a sigh, the Director stalked back to his desk and slumped in his chair. Wash grabbed two chairs and pulled them opposite the desk. Carolina followed, still giggling, and sat in one.

The Director glanced between them for a moment before his gaze settled on Wash. He leaned forward to rest his elbows on the desk and clasp his hands. “Explain.” Wash waited for Carolina to take a deep breath to stop the giggles before beginning.

Wash sighed heavily. “Two and a half weeks ago, York and I were roughhousing in the rec room when Connie said something about us acting like brothers.” He shrugged helplessly. “York decided to roll with it.” Carolina let out a squeak of laughter and clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes shining with mirth. “Instead of confusing everyone who was there for a few minutes, it actually worked. North even said it made sense.”

A corner of the Director’s mouth quirked upward ever so slightly. “Continue,” He said.

“Uh. I thought we were going to tell them it was a joke the next day, but York said he wanted to keep it going as long as we could. He looked so happy about the whole thing, I just went with it. Though,” He looked back at Carolina, “I made him promise not to tell you, and made up some excuse about you probably having access to our files.” Carolina laughed again and wiped a tear from one eye. “So we told the whole team not to tell you so you wouldn’t get us in trouble.” Carolina laughed even harder, and Wash cracked a grin himself. He looked back in front of him to see the Director holding one hand to cover his eyes. Wash grinned wider when he realized the hand did nothing to conceal the Director’s barely-there smirk.

Carolina grabbed a tissue from the Director’s desk. “That,” She declared, “Is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.” She wiped her eyes with the tissue.

The Director sighed heavily, the smirk threatening to form a full smile.

 Carolina continued, “You two—no, the whole team!—managed to keep a secret from me for two whole weeks.” She chuckled again. “And then—and then—Director, you actually said—” Carolina broke off once more into helpless giggles, and held the tissue to her eyes.

Wash laughed, too. _I think I would have remembered that_. “I hope, one day, I can attain that level of deadpan,” He grinned.

The Director huffed. “It just slipped out,” he admitted. Wash gaped as his father’s smirk grew to a smile, and his shoulders shook minutely with laughter. After a moment, the Director settled back in his chair, hand still over his eyes. “That was rather amusing. I will refrain from punishing any of you further for this incident.”

Wash dipped his head. “Thank you, sir.”

The Director’s small smile flattened out and he removed his hand from over his eyes. “Both of you are dismissed,” he said at last, “I expect this practical joke to be put to an end before any more...misunderstandings occur.”

Both Wash and Carolina composed themselves and stood. “Yes, sir,” They chorused. Carolina tossed the tissue and then opened the door to reveal the entire team waiting silently in the hallway.

As soon as the door closed behind them, York blurted, “Are you guys okay?”

Wash paused and glanced at Carolina. Their eyes met briefly before they both burst into yet another round of laughter, much to the confusion of their team.

Carolina wiped at her eyes again after another minute of hysterical giggles. “Oh, shit, that was funny!”

Wash nodded and leaned his back against the wall. “He was trying so hard not to crack up.”

Carolina nodded. “He was smirking the whole time.”

York snorted in disbelief. “At what?”

Wash sighed. “I told him about our prank. He, uh. Apparently was pretty amused.”

North scratched his head. “Prank?”

York looked ready to protest, so Wash cut in quickly, “He said we had to tell them.”

“Aw,” York’s shoulders slumped. Before anyone could ask, York straightened and grinned. “Ah, well. It was fun while it lasted. Me and Wash got you guys pretty good!”

“With what?” South snapped.

York shrugged. “We’re not _actually_ brothers.” He grinned at Connie. “Connie actually inspired it with her comment about us acting like siblings. We just decided it’d be funny to roll with it.”

Connie snickered. “You piece of shit!”

York laughed. “And then we decided to keep it up as long as possible, but then Wash pointed out Carolina would know it wasn’t true, so we tricked you all into staying quiet for us.”

“You guys totally fell for it,” Wash grinned.

The team dissolved into various states of laughter. North actually threw back his head and laughed, while Connie snickered behind her hand. South moved to punch York in the shoulder. Maine huffed what Wash knew to be a laugh. Wyoming and Florida chuckled lightly.

Carolina finally composed herself. “Alright. Maine, Washington, head back to the infirmary. North, you and South have weapons practice in twenty. York. Let’s go do hand-to-hand.”

York’s shoulders slumped. “You want to beat me up for disobeying orders, don’t you.”

Carolina grinned. “You know it.”

York sighed. “Let me walk Wash back to the infirmary? I wanted to talk to him.”

She glanced between the two of them for a moment before relenting. “You have ten minutes, York,” She said before heading off to the training room.

York looked at Maine before turning to Wash. “Let’s take the long way.” As soon as they made it out of earshot of Maine, York stopped and put his hands on Wash’s shoulders. “Are you okay?”

Wash nodded. “I’m fine. The Director wasn’t mad when he pulled me and Carolina aside.”

“Yeah, but he ripped into you pretty harshly before that.” York pointed out.

Wash shrugged. “I’ll get my spot back eventually.”

York took a deep breath. “I was worried about you.”

“York, I’m okay. Really.” Wash hugged the man in front of him. “I’ll be back to training in a few days.”

York squeezed him lightly. “I know. I just hate seeing you hurt. Brother or not.”

Wash pulled back and smiled. “Thanks for having my back out there. You saved my life.”

“Any time, Wash. I’m just glad you’re okay.” York sighed. “Come on, let’s get you back to the infirmary. Carolina will kick my ass if I’m late.”

Wash elbowed him lightly in the side. “Pretty sure she’ll kick your ass regardless.”

York sighed again. “Pretty sure you’re right.”

Wash grinned mischievously. “I’m also pretty sure that you’ll enjoy every second of it.”

York squawked in surprise. “That’s not true!”

Wash laughed and bolted ahead when York reached out to grab him. The stern look he got from the medics in the infirmary were well worth York’s helpless protests, Wash decided.

Besides. Weren’t little siblings _supposed_ to be little shits?

When a medic asked him what the hell he’d been thinking, Wash smiled.

“Just doing my job,” He said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come visit me on tumblr! narassiwrites.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit me on tumblr! agentfrecklelancer.tumblr.com


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